🪞 The Reflection Trap: Why Your Lesson Isn’t the Story

I’ve coached hundreds of people through What’s Your Story Slam in Singapore.
And the storytellers who move crowds most?
They’re not the ones who sound wise — they’re the ones who let us see their mess before they find their meaning.

The Mistake Most People Make

Most people think a good story is about what they learned.

But audiences don’t come to hear your reflection.
They come to feel the moment that taught you that reflection.

Your reflection isn’t the story.
The moment that inspired the reflection is.

The Smart Person’s Trap

High achievers love clarity and takeaways.
So when they tell stories, they skip straight to the insight:

All true. All valuable.
But none of that is a story.

A story isn’t what you know now.
It’s what you didn’t know then.

Reflection vs. Revelation

Reflection tells us.
Revelation lets us live it.

When a storyteller talks about burnout, we don’t want a summary on work–life balance.
We want the night they cracked:

“It’s midnight. The inbox pings again. My body’s screaming to sleep, but I keep typing. Because stopping feels like failing.”

That’s the heartbeat of a story —
the exact second you realise the old pattern won’t work anymore.

The Formula: Incident + Insight = Story

The What’s Your Story Slam storytellers who win consistently don’t start with a reflection — they build to it.

Your Quick Story Audit

Before your next story, ask yourself:

• Do I start with what I learned — or with the moment that taught me?

• Can someone picture the scene like a short film?

• What did my body feel in that moment?

If you can’t answer those, you’re still in reflection mode.

The Bottom Line

Your reflection is the reward of the story.
The story is the fight that earned it.

So next time you’re tempted to start with a life lesson — stop.
Take us to the moment before you knew better.
The moment everything still hurt, and the truth hadn’t landed yet.

That’s where your story begins.

🎭 Upcoming Experiences

🔥 Grace Under Fire — Oct 25
Perform with presence. Speak with calm under pressure.
Small group. Big impact.

🎤 Seed to Stage — Nov 8–9
A two-day storytelling intensive to help you craft, refine, and perform your story on stage.

🎙️ What’s Your Story Slam: Thank You for the Mess — Nov 19
An evening of raw, real, and ridiculously human stories — where every mistake, meltdown, and mess comes with a lesson that hits home.

💬 I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one life lesson you keep repeating?

Coming Up Next

Next week: Why “I discovered my purpose” is too vague to move anyone — and how to turn abstract themes into scenes people remember.

P.S. If this helped you rethink your storytelling, hit forward — you probably know someone whose next presentation starts with “I realised.”